Why Couples Therapists Refer Clients to Us
Therapy and marriage counseling help tens of millions around the world deal with personal and relationship issues.
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But therapy has its limitations, especially when working with couples, who present many unique ethical challenges that require therapists to walk an ethical tightrope.
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That means couples therapists are restricted in the kinds of issues they can help resolve, what they say to either person and how much they can do to help.
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Practically speaking, while therapists can help individuals and couples fix their relationship, therapists cannot facilitate honest conversations to create accountability and help the couple decide if they want the relationship in the first place.
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Without that clarity, couples often find themselves unable to address the real issues keeping them apart.
That’s where The Love Trials come in.
Ethical Challenges in Couples Therapy
The Codes of Ethics governing California therapists impose many obligations on therapists who wish to work with couples. To comply with these codes, couples therapists often have two basic requirements to work with a couple: common purpose and no secrets.
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The requirements make sense. If the couple does not want the same thing, the therapist will find it hard to support the relationship, which is the real client for couples therapy.
And if a person shares a secret that may affect the other person, the therapist is put into an impossible situation of trying to support the other person while having information that adversely affects that person. Naturally, the therapist will require disclosure or end the therapy.
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Therapists may wish to refer their client to The Love Trials when the therapist realizes that the couple needs help, but doing so may put the therapist in an awkward situation ethically. We partner with the therapist to understand the situation and then support each person through our process.
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​In addition, to the extent there is concern about confidentiality, everything said and done in a mediation is completely confidential and cannot be used in any proceeding. Cal. Evid. Code §§ 1119, 1129. There are incredibly limited exceptions.
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The Love Trials take advantage of these unique aspects of mediation to help our clients create the understanding necessary to decide their future, together.
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A Beneficial Collaboration
We strongly encourage all couples to work with a personal and couples therapist before they come and talk to us. Not only is that incredibly beneficial for couples, therapists can identify and address emotional wounds that are best handled in therapy.
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It behooves therapists to identify the line where they should not cross, no matter how much they feel they may be able to personally help the couple. It is at that point that therapists may wish to hand the baton to The Love Trials to work with the couple to decide the future of their relationship.
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By helping people look at their lives objectively, to see the choices they made, as well as the consequences of those choices, we uncover truths about the lives they have led.
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​​​The understanding we develop with each person creates a safe space to help each person take accountability for the past and talk about the difficult issues about the future of their relationship with greater candor and courage.
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Once people finish our program, they will often go back to working with their therapist to implement their newfound insights and decisions.